Osler's Razor

The plan to raise a $4,000 endowment (Vision 1930's Imperative Six) by extorting travelers also failed, in large part due to the representation on the Board of Intenders by travelers on these same roads. Those representatives amended the provisions created by President Brooks to reversed to process, requiring the school to pass out money to those coming through town. In its first year, this initiative led to a loss of almost $988 to the University, and to date (despite enthusiastic support by a series of presidents intent on appeasing the Board), the giving away money program has yet to turn a profit.

The statuary program laid out in imperative Seven met with, at best, mixed results. For reasons unknown, President Brooks at first left the creation of campus statuary to the Delta Upsilon fraternity, which responded by producing five striking and somewhat disturbing pieces: A 20-foot replica of the Washington monument, an armless football player with a prominent purple helmet, an Ionic column resting on two rounded stones, a cannon pointing straight up (which emitted periodic blasts of smoke), and an enormous limpid cylinder which slumped into College Creek, painted in A & M colors.

Baffled by these sculptures and their weird aesthetic, Brooks signed a contract with sculptor Bob Tech of Lubbock to create a college-themed sculpture to serve as a campus centerpiece. Tech was famous for depicting scenes of Texas history, and over the course of several months created a startling work made of welded iron and horsehide. The piece depicted a cowboy, an Indian, a police officer, a burly construction worker and a leather-clad motorcyclist all spelling the letter “Y” with their arms and upper torso, apparently while singing. The sculptor would offer no explanation, and Brooks was unable to talk the Board of Intenders into placing the sculpture on campus. Eventually, he was able to sell the work to Brigham Young University in Utah, which at least utilized the “Y” in their logo. Initially, Brooks had approached Yale University about purchasing the sculpture, but his entreaties were met only with knowing laughter and outright rejection.

Brooks then hired Paul Bryant Roberts, a New Yorker whom Brooks had overheard two men in a Manhattan bar discussing. Brooks had thought they had described him as a “Tier One Sculptor,” but in fact their Brooklyn accents had fooled him. In fact, Roberts was a Beer Stein Sculptor, and for his $12,000, Brooks received by motor lorry an enormous ceremonial stein celebrating Pfeiffer beer (a now-defunct brand famous for “a head as flat as Nebraska roadkill,” according to its print ads). This was deemed inappropriate for a Baptist school during prohibition, and the giant stein was sold to Sam Ford College in Alabama.

Having run through almost $50,000 with nothing to show for it, Brooks finally decided to purchase art which was already completed, rather than commissioning work yet to be created. He traveled to a gallery in Lawton, Oklahoma, purchased 12 counterfeit Remington statues he believed to be genuine, and placed them in the public spaces of Pat Neff Hall, little knowing how real their depictions of Indian raids would soon become. Tellingly, one of the statues depicted the Indians circling a lone figure who is seen defending himself with a thesaurus, and is wearing an ascot.

Labels: Baylor History