Osler's Razor

Look at all these important and famous people you hang with, Osler.. You are AWESOME. WILLIAM SESSIONS I have like HEARD OF THAT GUY like on the news I think.

Tonight I bought a kitchen faucet at Home Depot. Then we hung in the tile aisle for a while and argued about what kind of floor tile to get for our master bathroom.

They know us there now, like, BY NAME. Its actually kind of sad.
 

Next time you come to town you ought to meet with ALL (five?) Baylor grads in town. You know, buy us lunch and bill it to Uncle BJBT...
 

Tyd,
Think about it! The Home Depot guys know you by name, just like Osler knows William Sessions by name. We've heard of him. They've heard of you. They might even discuss your purchases in the break room.

It's like a parallel universe only...different. William Sessions probably doesn't shop at Home Depot.

There's irony in there somewhere.
 

Actually, I think the Judge would be quite comfortable at the Home Depot. And he'd probably also enjoy talking floor tile with Tyd and the armless red-eyed Home Depot guy. He's the real deal and quite a joy to be around.

This is guy who drives a beater Buick that has to be at LEAST 10 years old.
 

Hey Maybe we can arrange a meeting?

Tell Osler to have William Sessions meet me and OneArmRedEyeGuy in the flooring aisle of the Oregon City Home Depot tonight about 7 PM after the whiskers and plaid guys are gone for the day and after we have enjoyed yet another nutritious, delicious dinner from Carl's Jr on patio furniture.

Tonight's topic will be Travertine v Porcelain white-ish tile that Bill thinks look a little "too pinkish." My thoughts are that I can live with the pink because that tile is nice and it costs $2.29 per sq ft. Bill is in love with the Travertine because it is real stone, but it is also $7 a Sq foot.

Then, while Spencer screams that he wants to get out of the cart, that he is a big boy now and should not have to sit in the baby seat, and starts reaching for items inside the cart to throw out of the cart (such as 3/8 inch nap paint rollers) while onlookers stare and wonder why we e did not get a babysitter, The Honorable Mr Sessions and I can try to convince Bill to go with REAL slate tile in the master bath because it is so cool and organic looking. I also point out that it is also REAL STONE but cheaper and looks cool. Bill says it is all different colors and it looks "weird." Then Bill will say "Here we go again, we are back to the stupid slate again." Then we once again agree to disagree, go home with no tile, and wander off with aforementioned hopelessly bored screaming toddler to the plumbing aisle to look for a new one of those hot water dispensers thingys that go next to the faucet on the sink that we need to replace because our new sink (that is coming with the new countertops in three to five weeks) is a different color.

ON the way out, as a night cap, we will invite MR Sessions to peruse the patio section of Home Depot. WE will sit under the sort gazebo, screen porch cabana thingy they have set up with looks a hell of a lot nicer than the thig we bought for our brand new patio. We bought what I like to call an EGYPTIAN GARAGE. (I call it this because I had a boss for a long time named Dave who worked in Egypt for like 6 years for GM truck and bus division and he used to tell us all the time about the garages they have in Egypt and how they were these tent things on poles and they were really funny looking and he was always saying stuff like "Liz, if you get that big order from 'what's his name' in Western PA I will buy you an Egyptian Garage.")

SO we were pricing these canopy gazebo things for our patio and they were all pretty high and then we saw this thing at Costco for $163 dollars. It was this fully enclosed tent thing, (with roll up sides) totally waterproof 10 by 20 feet and it was not great looking but it would really work for us. It is meant to cover a car or a boat. I said "Hey Bill! This is an EGYPTIAN GARAGE!!!!" and then we bought it and yes it looks reallllly rednecky. But our concern was that these gazebo things are very pretty but this is OREGON where it rains like 343 days a year. Then we were worried that it might blow away as well, so we bought six solid granite umprella stand holder things and we are going to anchor six of its eight tent pole things with those. Its all very you know.. like I can just hear Jeff Foxworthy saying "IF you use an Egyptian Garage as a gezebo thing for your patio, you just might be a redneck…. "
But then, at Home Depot, seeing a fully assembled beautiful canopy that like Oprah might have in her house in Santa Barbara or someplace it was so pretty and elegant, and we know that at home waiting for us is the Egyptian Garage from Costco. Did we make a mistake? Will we be the laughing stock of the neighborhood? Then Mr. Sessions will probably argue against that notion, as we do live in sort of the boonies and two houses away a guy has one for his boat.. OF course, he does not throw parties in it, but he does HAVE ONE…

Maybe you should decide for yourselves dear Osler fans:

Here is the lovely, elegant gazebo thing: It is not probably very waterproof, but it does look so nice. Also it is very CLIMBABLE and my toddler had plans for that lattice thing….

http://www.frontgate.com/jump.jsp?item=28063&maincatcode=1&subcatcode=null&itemID=3839&itemType=PRODUCT&path=1%2C2%2C145%2C859%2C1820&iProductID=3839


and then Here is the Egyptian garage, which is very waterproof, a lot bigger and also beige…

http://www.portablegaragedepot.com/index.cfm?sku=25875&catid=109


I do not know what Mr Sessions or Red Eye One Arm will say about this. I mean on the one hand it does look kind of I dunno Like Larry The Cable the Guy. But then, you know… its in the BACK yard…. So who cares?

I am completely flummoxed. I could use feedback. HEY!!! WAKE UP !!! I am done writing...
 

IN case the links did not come out: Here is THe Oprah version:

http://www.frontgate.com/jump.jsp?item=28063&maincatcode=1&subcatcode=null&itemID=3839&itemType=PRODUCT&path=1%2C2%2C145%2C859%2C1820&iProductID=3839

ANd here is the Egyptian Garage:

http://www.portablegaragedepot.com/index.cfm?sku=25875&catid=109

Please cast your vote. my future depends on it. OK It does not and who really cares and I am pretty much stuck with the Egyptian garage.


Tomorrow's topic? Chalkboard Paint.
 

I like the Egyptian Garage, really. Just watch it for mold out there. garagewbleach? ;o)

Then again, I live in the middle of nowhere in East Texas and my best friend is a Puffalump bunny.